what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
only if we run a train.
done.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
