He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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