Your mouth is God's brothel.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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