She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
