Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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