I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
