I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
