I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
