This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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