maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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