...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
