Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
