4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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