i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
