He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
