So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
