What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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