i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
