After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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