it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am one with the molecules
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
