You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
