I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
