That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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