Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
