I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
