You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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