Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm both gender and math confused
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
