please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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