if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
