For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
