nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
