he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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