Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
