Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
