quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
