I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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