Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
