It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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