Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
