i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
