Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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