You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
