I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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