did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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