I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
