Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my being single is dangerous.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
