I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
