just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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