U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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