he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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